God Wink

So, lately I have been reading a whole bunch. I love love love to read! Anything from newspapers to magazines to books to comics. All are great!

That leads me into my blog today. I have been reading a book called "When God Winks at You" by SQuire Rushnell. The book basically talks about how coincidences that happen you in life may not be a coincidence but a wink from God to let you know you are on the right path.

I'm reading this book and the concept it awesome. I just didn't see it in my life. I enjoyed reading about the winks that happened in the author's life and even some celebrity stories. I guess I just couldn't see it happen in my life, so I couldn't appreciate it.

Well, tonight...I finally had a wink. I met with an individual to discuss some relationship based questions. I already knew the answer, but just needed to hear the words. I was sad at the time, but by the time I left, I was not longer sad. i felt great.

I was given the chance to get the closure I needed. I also got a chance to discuss some issues that I think he needed to hear. I feel like a weight has been lifted and the chains removed. I feel like this is a wink that says I will be okay. That I need to move on and meet new people. I need to make different choices, not keep falling into the same routine. I now know what it's like to have a wink from God. ;)

Prom All Over Again!

I get to go to prom again! I'm really excited. I believe the 80's theme will be so much fun. I secretly wanted to go, but I was officially asked to go yesterday. At first I thought, "I have to work :( ", but then I woke up.

I am 24 years old. I don't ever go anywhere or do anything. I work at the school, I go home. I work at the CK, I go home. I go to church, I go home. I deserve to have some fun. Most 24 year olds are out at parties with friends or going on trips.

I need to wake up and see that I don't want to spend my life working constantly. It's tough having a job where you work on the weekend. That means I don't get to go to many events or places. I took next Saturday off so I could go to the Pretty in Prom event.

I deserve the time off. I deserve to be pretty. I deserve a sweet guy to ask me on a real date to prom. ;) Saturday will be lots of fun! Now I just have to find clothes for my date and accessorize myself! 80's! Here we come!

Hello.

Hi. My name is Ashley and I have totally neglected my blog. I would like to say it's because I'm busy...but that would be a lie. I would also like to say it's because I'm boring...that could be the truth. Either way, I'm back....again.

I'm not going to do an update again. I'm just going to start with today and move forward. In the words of Jimmy Buffett, "yesterday is over my shoulder, so I can't look backwards too long." He is totally right. I could walk around the rest of my life using a mirror to view my past, but for what? Nothing is changing. Nothing as far as the past goes.

I have decided basically what I want to do with my life. I passed the academy with flying colors, except the EVOC or driving portion. I have now failed that twice. I believe its time for a change. So I decided I want to be an RN. I will attend Gordon and try to specialize in trauma. I then want to go to third-world countries and give medical care. I feel that I am so blessed to live in a nation where everyone can go to school. People don't fight over food; we fight over what restaurant to go to. It's heartbreaking to realize how much we take for granted in this country. I want to give back. I feel lead to Africa. There is such a need for medical care, especially with AIDS. I just want to love the unloved.

I am still single, but that’s okay. February or March, depending on who you ask, will make me single for a year. Honestly, I don't regret anything I've done in the past year. I've met great people and crappy people. Good guys and selfish guys. All in all, I have learned a lesson from each of them. Maybe one day I'll post a blog of these lessons. Laughing out Loudly!

So, now that I have the time, I will attempt to update everyday. Ye be warned, my life isn't that exciting. :)

Police Academy

So as many of you know, I have wanted to be employed in criminal justice since I was a kid. Well, hopefully I can finally make this come true.

First, I had to go take the Entrance Exam. It is the Compass or ACT that most technical colleges require. I took of and passed with flying colors.

Second, I had to set up an interview day with the Major over the pre-service portion of the academy. He is a very busy man! :) So, I go to the academy for this interview. I thought it was going to be one-on-one but it turned out to be more like a conference. We went through the application process and given lots of paperwork.

I am now one step closer to getting into the police academy. I just have to fill out this paperwork in a timely fashion and get it turned in as quick as possible.

I'll try to keep the blog updated on the process. :)

Have I found what I'm looking for? I'll have to get back to you...

I'm not his biggest fan, but Tupac summed up my feelings in the spoken verse of "Changes":
We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive.

So, I've been through quite a few changes as of late. I'm not okay with some but I'm coping well.

One thing that I'm working on is my planning. I don't need to plan every bit of my day. I like to have a few big events, then some casual encounters. I'm growing more accustomed to this. It's okay, but I'm still a planner at heart.

I'm also not so concerned how people will view me or what they will say. I'm standing up and saying that its about me now! I don't have to make everyone happy, just that one or few people happy. I also need to live my life for me. I will do what I want to do and you can't stop me. :P

I can only let people do to me what I allow them to. I must develop that strong backbone and will. My spirit can not and will not be broken by others.

I spoke to a friend tonight and he helped me draw these conclusions. He was totally right. I am a strong beautiful woman. I am intelligent, pretty, witty, and mature beyond my age. All I have to do is find that person who agrees with us.

Or maybe I don't. Perhaps, I do not need another individual in my life. I want someone to be there, but maybe I don't need just anyone. I need someone who will support me and be there for me. I need that shoulder to cry on and the same shoulder to snuggle when I'm happy. I need someone who will be funny but serious when its necessary. I need someone who wants to do the same things that I do, not because I do but because they honestly want to. I need someone to be honest with me. To tell me when I have faulted and listen to me when they have faulted.

I don't think this is too much to ask for. Maybe it is. Right now, this is how I feel. I feel this is deep set into my consciousness speaking in this blog. Am I wrong? Maybe that honest person can tell me. If not, I'll find out on my own.

Yet Another Update

Wow. April, huh?

I've had a lot going on since April. Let's see if I can do a summary in 100 words or less.

Tried to survive my break up (which was more like a divorce), made some new friends, went to Macon State one semester, lost some friends, got better at my job, got passed over for a promotion, read some books about funeral services, thought about going to mortuary college, decided to stick to law enforcement for now, meet a guy, talked to guy, lost guy, talked to other guys, practiced some flirting, connected to an old mentor, made some new friends, went to some great parties, and decided on a date for me to go to mandate.

I'm doing the best that I can and I'm giving it my all. I get lonely at times, but this is my life and my world. Everyone else just lives in it. :P

People and their Problems

People really get to me. I have been trying to help others but they don't help themselves or they treat me like crap. I am going to do my own solo thing if this is the way I get treated. I do not have to help others who don't appreciate me.

I may sound cynical, but I am very frustrated with some individuals right now. I will not say names, but they probably know who they are. I thought I knew these people better than this, but I was mistaken. Thats okay, if you don't want to be in my life, get out.

I'm done.