Police Academy

So as many of you know, I have wanted to be employed in criminal justice since I was a kid. Well, hopefully I can finally make this come true.

First, I had to go take the Entrance Exam. It is the Compass or ACT that most technical colleges require. I took of and passed with flying colors.

Second, I had to set up an interview day with the Major over the pre-service portion of the academy. He is a very busy man! :) So, I go to the academy for this interview. I thought it was going to be one-on-one but it turned out to be more like a conference. We went through the application process and given lots of paperwork.

I am now one step closer to getting into the police academy. I just have to fill out this paperwork in a timely fashion and get it turned in as quick as possible.

I'll try to keep the blog updated on the process. :)

Have I found what I'm looking for? I'll have to get back to you...

I'm not his biggest fan, but Tupac summed up my feelings in the spoken verse of "Changes":
We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive.

So, I've been through quite a few changes as of late. I'm not okay with some but I'm coping well.

One thing that I'm working on is my planning. I don't need to plan every bit of my day. I like to have a few big events, then some casual encounters. I'm growing more accustomed to this. It's okay, but I'm still a planner at heart.

I'm also not so concerned how people will view me or what they will say. I'm standing up and saying that its about me now! I don't have to make everyone happy, just that one or few people happy. I also need to live my life for me. I will do what I want to do and you can't stop me. :P

I can only let people do to me what I allow them to. I must develop that strong backbone and will. My spirit can not and will not be broken by others.

I spoke to a friend tonight and he helped me draw these conclusions. He was totally right. I am a strong beautiful woman. I am intelligent, pretty, witty, and mature beyond my age. All I have to do is find that person who agrees with us.

Or maybe I don't. Perhaps, I do not need another individual in my life. I want someone to be there, but maybe I don't need just anyone. I need someone who will support me and be there for me. I need that shoulder to cry on and the same shoulder to snuggle when I'm happy. I need someone who will be funny but serious when its necessary. I need someone who wants to do the same things that I do, not because I do but because they honestly want to. I need someone to be honest with me. To tell me when I have faulted and listen to me when they have faulted.

I don't think this is too much to ask for. Maybe it is. Right now, this is how I feel. I feel this is deep set into my consciousness speaking in this blog. Am I wrong? Maybe that honest person can tell me. If not, I'll find out on my own.

Yet Another Update

Wow. April, huh?

I've had a lot going on since April. Let's see if I can do a summary in 100 words or less.

Tried to survive my break up (which was more like a divorce), made some new friends, went to Macon State one semester, lost some friends, got better at my job, got passed over for a promotion, read some books about funeral services, thought about going to mortuary college, decided to stick to law enforcement for now, meet a guy, talked to guy, lost guy, talked to other guys, practiced some flirting, connected to an old mentor, made some new friends, went to some great parties, and decided on a date for me to go to mandate.

I'm doing the best that I can and I'm giving it my all. I get lonely at times, but this is my life and my world. Everyone else just lives in it. :P

People and their Problems

People really get to me. I have been trying to help others but they don't help themselves or they treat me like crap. I am going to do my own solo thing if this is the way I get treated. I do not have to help others who don't appreciate me.

I may sound cynical, but I am very frustrated with some individuals right now. I will not say names, but they probably know who they are. I thought I knew these people better than this, but I was mistaken. Thats okay, if you don't want to be in my life, get out.

I'm done.

Single or Freedom?

So now that I'm single, I realize that not everything is horrible. At first, I thought about how terrible every love song or movie would be.

Tonight I watched my first chick flick as a single woman. Mind you, this was not my choice. I do not like chick flicks. I will take a good ole fashion hack-and-slash any day over a chick flick, but I was in the company of someone who wanted to watch Juno.

Now the movie itself was okay. Nothing special. There was funny parts and sweet parts. I felt a little down towards the end, but I'm okay. I survived.

Although, now that I am single, a whole world has opened up to me. Things I couldn't do before, I can now accomplish. One thing I have been considering greatly is mortuary college. When I was in my long term commitment, I refused to go because I would be three hours from home. My whole life, the love of my life, would be three hours away. I would only have the weekends to spend with him. But now, I have nothing to hold me back.

I'm beginning to look at this break up as an open door, not a closing door. Yes, this really sucked. Yes, I lost what I thought was the love of my life. Yes, I believe I will not be able to love again. But, I am also seeing great opportunities before my eyes. I can get another job (maybe) or go to the school I always wanted to go. Or stay up late. Or go to bed early.

Freedom is ultimately what I'm feeling now that the hurt is gone. I do want to date people, I do want to see others, but I don't want to get tied down like I once was. I may never get tied down like that again. Only time will reveal that to me.

Until I figure these things out, I'll just keep on trucking and entertain my inner dinosaur. :)

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

So, a lot has happened and I haven't updated my blog.

Here is the cliff notes version:

1. My relationship with Jackson is over. He broke up with me. If you need to know more, ask.

2. I'm trying to cope with #1 and finish school. The end of the semester is always tough.

3. I'm looking for other employment to compensate for the lack of Subing I've done lately, plus summer is coming up quickly.

4. I have been getting rid of Jackson's stuff and things I don't need anymore. Spring Cleaning!

5. I've begun to write poetry. Mostly about stuff that is happening to me, but I'm beginning to branch out.

6. I've met some cool new people at school and around town.

7. I did a presentation on the dangers of energy drinks for a health class.

8. I'm still at the Country Kitchen, working to death.

9. I've been playing lots of video games, thanks to Daren. Mostly Left 4 Dead and Guitar Hero 2-4.

10. I'm beginning to find myself. I have good days and bad days, but I'm making progress. One day at a time, I'm moving forward and not looking back.

Hopefully, this update will suffice. If you need addition info, 1. ask, 2. check facebook, or 3. myspace. :)

I'm sorry

Its been Jan. since I last posted. I should be punished. :)

I've been soooo busy with school lately. It seems like every day (I only go to campus 2 days a week) I have too much to finish. I've also been trying to find my place in this world. I wonder if I'll ever find it.

So, if you find my place, let me know. Until then, I'll still be looking. :)

David St John

Sorry I haven't posted in like 7 days. I've been really busy with school. Yesterday, I discovered a new artist. I had to go to a poetry reading for extra credit. I was already going to school so I thought to myself "Why not?". I really did not expect to enjoy it at all. I figured it was some stiff professor with all of these honors telling us what is and is not art. But I was surprised. As he began reading, I really connected with his work. Deep inside I felt changed. So maybe this is my inner artist coming out to play for a while? Let's see what school has to say about that. :(

If you are interested, his name is David St John. He has like 9 books out now, so there's plenty to pick from. :)

"The Unborn"

So, I'm sitting at Macon State right now listening to "Breakfast at Tiffany's" on my ipod waiting for class to start. Boring...

I subed for a 1st grade teacher yesterday. Thats not too cool, I know. Afterwards, I came home for some much needed attention from Ej. I Love that Man! After attention, we decided to go see a movie. As you may know, Sunday instead of D&D we went to see My Bloody Valentine in 3D at Great Escape. That, my friend, is b-rated horror at its best! Alas, we decided to go see another movie. That movie was "The Unborn".

Mind you, the title is pretty damn creepy itself. That was only the beginning. The movie only got weirder from there. It was a good film overall. Just a warning, if you are disturbed by images of fetuses, this may not be your movie. I mean the title alone has some spoilers that hint to fetuses. So don't blame me.

Its also a good film if you are into other religions, because you get a glimpse into some Judaism and Occult. Either way, if you're a horror film buff, this would be pretty good to see. Also, Gary Oldman does another wonderful job!

Check it out.

A Historic Day

Today is quite a day. For myself, it started with getting to sleep in with one of my classes being canceled. To millions of others, the day started very early. They flocked to the Inauguration in hordes unlike any other has seen.

Today is a day of unity. Despite how one voted in the Primary or even the Election itself, a President has been chosen. I did not voted for Obama. This may come as a shock to some of my friends who did vote for him. I voted McCain in the Primary and the Election. Unlike others who has voted for McCain, I voted with my mind, not my heart.

For I am criticized for my decision. I believe that one should not vote based on their parents beliefs, political party, race, or economic level. People really need to read into the candidates before selecting one to run the Free World. With this aside, today is not the day to argue who voted what way.

Barack Obama was elected as the 44th President of the United States of America. We should all celebrate and pray for him. He has quite a bit of work ahead of him. I hope he can accomplished all that he promised he would and much much more.

Big Changes for 2009

So...I haven't written since December.

I'm sorry. I just started Macon State and didn't realize what I was getting into. I forgot how much fun school is. *sarcasm* But seriously, I enjoy the campus, the teachers, the learning environment, but not the drive nor the reading. I never read text books. I only read what I needed to, not required to.

I tried to read American Literature. The intro stuff sucks, but the literature itself is pretty good. I enjoy reading, so that part has always been better to me than the dry background info. I know, background info is import too though.

I've also had a couple of depressed days. I really don't know when my life is going to be where I want to be. I try not to write when I'm depressed or mad. I understand that no one cares.

I've had trouble with my parents lately, which related to the above topic. They want to know every aspect of my life. The only problem with that is I'm 23. That means I don't have to tell them shit, but that doesn't stop them. They are constantly asking me when I'll be finished with school, how long do I have left, and what job will I get. Please leave me the f-word alone. Thanks.

Also, can we leave Bush alone, please? He knows he messed up, we know he messed up, let him leave the White House in peace. Let's see how well Obama will do. For the record, I voted for McCain. With that being said, I really hope that Obama can do all of the things he promised. I'm not against him. He was elected in the American Way. American voted him into the position for a reason.

I think that is all for now, I'm not really feeling well. Sorry so short.