I finished crying in the instant that you left...

SO....I've been neglecting my blog lately. I apologize deeply.

TO prove that I haven't just been lazy. I'll give cliff-notes version of what I've been doing. First, writing LARP mods. Second, applying for jobs (both forensic and other). Third, watching way too much TV. Fourth, myspace. Fifth, Dungeons and Dragons twice a week. Sixith, thinking.

I've been thinking way too much. For me, thinking leads to worry then worry to depression. I really need another job. Tomorrow I have substitute teacher training. I really don't want to babysit children but its something to pass the time. I have official decided to go back to school. Now the question is where....

I've applied for a job with the local funeral home. I pray that he calls me back. I need a job more related to forensics and less distant. I don't mind dead people, really...

Now that the updates are over...the real subject. Jackson and I are not engaged. Before I post more, I just want everyone reading this to know this bit of info. I've been watching WE network all day about weddings.

The show Rich Bride, Poor Bride is about couple making budgets (secretly) then the wedding planner helps to try to stick to the budget as the couple nearly splits. (Just an observation, if you can survive the ceremony, you might not divorce in a year.) At the end of the show, the couple revels the budget and how much they actually spent. The least over budget as $2,000 and the most $22,000. WOW.

The other show was Amazing Wedding Cakes. The AWC focuses on 4 cake shoppes in different parts of the US. The show goes through the concept of the cake thru to the finished product. I was disappoint not to hear prices. (They slipped up and said one cake was $600 neighbor) I was quite impressed with the quality and creativity of the cakes.

Any woman with working hormones would be affected by these shows (and the whole damn network). It made me begin to think about what I want for our wedding. Hmm.. starting with the first dance song.

The first dance has always been very important to me. I want the song to be a representation of us. One song that has been on my mind is "Its All Coming Back to Me" by Meatloaf.

Here are the lyrics:
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

***What do you think?***

Post Dragon*Con Update

Yes we survived Con. Jackson and I had a blast! We got to meet some neat people, run into old friends, and walk our feet off.

Con was great, as always. I got some neat things and lots of memories to cherish! Thanks to Jud for hanging out with us :)

My costume was awesome and I actually had someone ask for a picture. I really wasn't expecting that seeing how Star Trek is very popular, especially for costuming.

Jackson and I have now moved on to building a great Halloween LARP event. I'm trying to help where I can so Jackson won't be so stressed out. This means lots of costuming, strobe lights, fog machine tests, and decorating for the big weekend.

Fortunately, we started early this time. :)